When Mom Shaming is Needed

Mom shaming. We hear so much about it, thanks to this wonderful thing called social media. No two people are moms exactly the same way. We all seem to think our way is not only the best way but the ONLY way. That mom wanted to have a natural birth but instead an emergency c-section saved both her life and the babies. How dare she not take more power over her body?! This mom breast feeds but how dare she take breaks at work to pump. Just use formula and while we’re discussing it, why are you working anyway?! You should be with your baby 24/7! Look at that mom! She stays home but gasp she gave up on breastfeeding after 2 weeks of pain and heartache to put herself in a better emotional state. How dare she! That child is front facing at 1! How could they endanger them so?! This one is still rear facing at 6. That kid is in first grade and still can’t see where they are going in the car! I could give example after example of the things about someone else’s life people think it’s acceptable to comment on. Of course, in each example I just gave we all have an opinion. That does not mean we have any right to share it. We have no liberty to make another mom feel guilty for “doing it wrong” just because it’s not how we do it or would (if we had kids). So after saying all this, why the title? Why would I possibly think there are times mom shaming is needed? I’ll tell you why. I screw up. Certain mom moments we should shame ourselves about. I’m not saying give up and decide you are a horrible mother. I’m saying remember there is always room for improvement. For example, I’ve had kids with hand, foot, and mouth for a week now and the whininess is out.of.control! I understand my babies are sick and entitled to a bit extra whine but tonight….tonight, I snapped. I just couldn’t take it anymore and I threw my own temper tantrum to my kids. Twice. To the point my son was apologizing that I couldn’t make him feel better. I’m crying now just thinking about it. This was not a high point for me and I’m ashamed of it. I’m ashamed when I focus more on my phone then on my children. I’m ashamed when I get so caught up in the laundry, dishes, and housecleaning that I don’t take time to hold my babies. I’m ashamed when they ask me to teach them to bake and I say no because I don’t have the “time” or I don’t want to clean up the extra mess. I’m ashamed when I miss my daily devotions because I have so much to do and that’s the example they’re seeing. THESE are the things we should mom shame OURSELVES about. Not because we are all horrible, terrible moms but because we are good ones! And good ones want to improve. Want to be better. Always striving to do better for their family. So when you have one of these moments, as we all do, and your feeling your mom shame, remember a few things. You are not alone. We, moms, are all humans with sin natures. We all mess up. We all have those moments of shame. The fact that we have that shame is in itself proof that you truly are a good mom. Remember this as well, however. We all have a chance to strive to do better next time. And next time. And the time after that. Ask for the forgiveness you need and aim for an improvement each time. Keep striving, momma. There is no such thing as a perfect mom, but there are good ones striving to learn from their mistakes and become better ones. Keep striving.

2 Peter 3:18 - But grow in grace, and [in] the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him [be] glory both now and for ever. Amen.

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