“I am not” Mom

Warning: open, blatant, transparency to follow. I am a mom. I am a mom who messes up. Often. I am a mom who often feels defeated or like I am a complete failure. I am not a crafty mom. I draw my kids stick figures when they ask me to make a person. I don’t own a cricut or stamp sets. I don’t know how to cut out vinyl and make cute, matching, personalized shirts. I don’t LOVE Hobby Lobby! (I’ve probably just alienated half of my friends with that statement. I see that place as a maze of glass and delicate things that can be destroyed by my unruly crew or my klutzy self. It’s a death trap, people!) I do not have an eye for decorating. I have some pictures on my wall. They haven’t been changed out in 4 years. The frames aren’t all matching or the same size. They aren’t all evenly spaced and completely level and hung with command strips to avoid wall damage. Actually there are probably about 3 holes behind each picture because I never measure or mark either. They are also dusty, very dusty. My mom dusts and cleans the house every Friday. Other people have a day for the bathrooms and kitchen and one for the bedrooms and living room each week. I am not a great housekeeper. I walk into a bathroom and if we aren’t growing things in the toilet bowl, we’re doing good. My house cleaning “schedule” is more like, I can’t remember the last time I cleaned so I probably should do that or else I am very angry about something and cleaning is my outlet. My husband has joked before that he’ll have to make me mad so the house will get cleaned. I’m no better with laundry. I may be worse. I tried to establish Monday as my laundry day but actually it’s more like 1-2 loads Monday, I remember the load in the washer Tuesday and re-wash it, then re-wash it again Wednesday. It’s usually all washed by Thursday but folded and put away. That’s a whole different story. I am not a musician. I don’t enjoy sitting down at the piano or strumming a guitar or playing any other instrument. I am not a fabulous hair dresser. I can’t cut, trim, or color hair. I’m doing good if I remember to brush my hair most days. I am not that mom that manages to work out everyday and look amazing after 4 kids and I have the extra fluff to prove it. I am not the pinterest mom who makes wonderful desserts and healthy dishes daily and throws amazing birthday parties for her kids every year. In fact I told a friend just the other day, I feel like when I throw a party, I’m the Dollar Tree version as opposed to the Pintrest/Target brand. I am not the mom that comes up with cool activities and learning experiences for her kids. We don’t have sensory bins or learning centers or theme days. I can’t sew or crochet. I am not an entrepreneur. I am not a fashion blogger or instagrammer. I don’t have some awesome hobby that I am super talented at that I can make money as a stay at home mom to support my family. I am not a mom that never loses her cool. I am not a mom that never makes a mistake. There is something else though. I am not alone. There are other moms out there that feel this way. That have their own list of “I am not…” that goes on and on. Why are we moms so hard on ourselves? Why do we focus on all the things we can’t do well. All the things we aren’t good at? When my daughter starts getting down on herself, I always tell her to say these things. “Satan is lying to me. God loves me. I am ‘fearfully and wonderfully made'”(Ps. 139:14). These are things I need to remember myself of as well, it seems. Things we all need reminded of. Satan would love nothing more than to distract you, Momma. You are the front line in these precious babies’ lives. You are who they look to as an example. You are with them the most and have the most teachable moments available to you. You are the ones that “train them up” (Pr. 22:6) day in and day out. That is a huge responsibility. One that can overwhelm and fall into our I can’t category very easily. That’s exactly how Satan wins. He defeats us in our minds. To the point we just give up. I know I certainly have my days where I am ready to throw in the towel. I’m ready to say sure you can sit in front of the tv and watch whatever you want. Go ahead and be mean and nasty to your sister. Attitude because you had to put away 3 dishes and “do everything around here”? Whatever. We can’t give up! We cannot throw in that towel! There is too much at stake. Sweet, precious, amazing creations of God. He entrusted them to you for a reason. Because He will equip you. All the “I am nots” in the world can’t compare to “I AM God’s”. So to all the soccer mom’s who just don’t think they can fit in one more thing. To all the stay at home moms who finally managed to shower and put on real clothes by dinnertime. To all the working moms who are driving home, exhausted at 5, and are still facing dinner, homework, and bedtime. To the moms of teenagers who can’t take one more argument. To the moms with 3 kids under 3 rocking the ode de spit up. To ALL the moms feeling defeated and like a complete failure. Get your focus off of those negatives and remember, “if God be for us, who can be against us.” (Rms. 8:31)

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Psalms 139:14
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31

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